How the other half live

Leamington FC 1 v Kings Lynn Town 1

I have a confession. My knowledge of contemporary non league football is scant. You couldn’t even write what I know about it on the back of a fag packet. The only non- league game I’ve ever attended involved Matlock Town when they played in the old Northern Premier League. I seem to recall that there used to be something called the Beazer Homes League though I suspect it went the way of the company that bore its name - swallowed up and rebranded.

Yet every weekend across the country from Eastbourne to Frome, Haverfordwest to North Ferriby, non league football is taking place. For the thousands who turn out to watch it, professional football is a puffed up diva. I needed to see how the other half live so when the game between Leamington FC v Kings Lynn Town was finally confirmed - as part of a reunion with a group of mates from Hull University – my non-league horizons were about to be expanded.

Here are a few of the things I learned. Leamington FC play in something called the Evo Stick League Southern Premier Division which is about five rungs below the fourth division (Sky Bet League Two). At one time the team was called AP Leamington because they played on land owned by Automotive Products who had a factory in the town. They were and continue to be nicknamed the Brakes because that was the product AP made. I thought about this for a moment and whether it might transfer to other teams. Afterall Sheffield United are called The Blades and Luton Town are called the Hatters but I then thought that its appeal might not be universal. I’m not sure Wolves would fit being called The Tires simply because Good Year had a factory in the town or that West Bromwich Albion be named The Mighty White’s due to the proximity of the Allied Bakeries factory. But we digress.

By 1983 AP Leamington were plying their trade in the Southern League Premier Division and by 1988 playing at their pinnacle. But unbeknownst to them things were about to turn sour. With not a hint of warning Automotive Products decided to sell the Club’s Windmill Ground for housing. In fairness to the company they were not totally heartless a generous seven days being offered in which to raise the necessary cash to buy back the ground. But the £300k asking price was somewhat beyond the means of a club with an average home gate of 500. Furthermore with Leamington sugar daddies being thin on the ground the Club was mothballed and for the next twelve years ceased to exist until a field on the outskirts of the town was purchased from a farmer and a rudimentary ground created. From their re-launch in 2000 and starting off in the Midland Combination, Leamington FC has not looked back.

So it was that on Saturday 27th February 2016 I was one of 531 who turned up at the Philips 66 Community Stadium and took my place amongst the Brakes faithful in the Phillips 66 Community Stand. Sitting in front were three Leamington die-hards so I decided to break the ice by asking “Who’s the Leamington playmaker?” I got a strange and silent response which implied one of two things. Either they thought I was a pretentious prat and should keep my high falutin’ thoughts to myself or the concept of playmaker was not something with which they were familiar. The uncomfortable silence was thankfully punctured by the South Bank who, as the Kings Lynn players walked out onto the lumpy turf, chanted “Who are Ya? Who are ya?” This coterie of fans would keep up a never ending medley of every footballing chant known to man but any undercurrent of violence was thankfully absent. Leamington is a Spa town afterall.

When the game eventually got underway it was clear that the quality of the playing surface together with skill deficiencies amongst the protagonists would ensure a robust if slightly skewed version of the beautiful game. Leamington bossed the early exchanges but failed to make their dominance pay which tends to result in a sucker punch. This duly arrived on the half hour from a set piece as King’s Lynn broke the deadlock. The response from the home crowd was one of resignation, the odd moan here the odd question there but little in the way of vitriol. Meantime the South Bank sang on.

Though I had set Kenny Jackett’s mobile to speed dial, it was clear that as half time arrived, he would not be getting a call. Non- league nuggets, such as they were, were thin on the ground though three Leamington players did catch the eye. At right back Richard Taundry looked comfortable on the ball, robust in the tackle and, when distributing, did so as if he knew what he was doing. Up front substitute and Leamington top scorer Ben Mackey, knew how to find space in the box. It’s just that when the ball reached him he wasn’t entirely adept at finishing off the job. Eventually, and almost by a process elimination, he would finally marry up the two by claiming a second half equaliser. And last but not least, Sam Austin playing on the left wing. A loan signing from Burton Albion Sam had the look of Adam Johnson about him a comparison guaranteed to kill his career. But of all those performing he had a good first touch, could pass and beat a player and was unfortunate not to score when following a lovely one two he grazed an upright with a curling left foot strike.

And so it was that by the time the referee brought matters to a close I’d become a non- league football convert. As a spectacle it was not the most elegant but what it lacked in aesthetics it made up for with honesty and endeavour. Play acting was non-existent. Furthermore the fans know the players and vice versa and it all happens within touching distance. You can see why folk are drawn to it.

©Mark Brennand