Big mouth Boycott heralds collapse
Geoffrey Boycott is one of those individuals who tend to polarise opinion. As a player he was famously selfish and in person comes across as a bighead, character traits which are not particularly endearing. But these self same characteristics also allow him to be outspoken and as such he offers a refreshing antidote to a world of bland platitudes, the milieu in which the current snowflake generation would prefer us all to inhabit.
Anyway this morning I just happened to wake at around 5.05am and knowing that the fifth day of the final test v India was well under way I reached over to my radio and tuned in to TMS. It wasn’t long before “Geoffrey” arrived in the box taking his place alongside dear old thing Henry Blofeld. Out in the middle were Cooke and Jennings. They were batting well and as they reached the not insignificant milestone of a century opening partnership Boycott decided to open his mouth without first engaging his brain “I’d love to bat on this track” he said in that surly boorish tone that implies that you should sit up and listen to what he has to say because he knows what he is talking about. “…..it’s a doddle. My brother would love to bat on this track. In fact my Auntie Annie would love to bat on this track with three sherries inside her”. We had got the point.
Ten minutes later Cook was caught at leg slip. England then proceeded to go from 103 for 1 to 207 all out, the last six wickets falling for fifteen runs. Boycott had egg on his chin. But will he admit his error? I sense not. He doesn’t possess the humility. The bigger sadness is the English batting line up which once again collapsed like a proverbial pack of cards. It only requires either Alistair Cook or Joe Root to depart the scene and it’s game over. Yes. The Indian spin attack is good and yes, they are playing on home turf. But for goodness sake. Is it too much to ask that two from either Ali or Bairstow or Stokes or Dawson can offer up more resistance than occurred today. Steve Waugh’s Australia never accepted it so why do we?
As for Auntie Annie, she couldn’t give a dam. That fifth Amontillado has long since consigned her to the land of nod.
©Mark Brennand